Last night Levi and I drove to New Jersery to buy camping gear. (Because where, other than New Jersey, does one buy camping gear?) We’d been wanting to do it since last summer, and with Independence Day just around the corner and money set aside for this very purpose, we knew the time was ripe.
The obvious objection is that we live in New York City and there is neither space in our apartment to store the gear, nor plot in the City to use it, nor car to get us to the nearest campground—undoubtedly a commercial endeavor where we make reservations, use actual bathrooms, and purchase trinkets at the gift shop on our way out.
Still, we wanted camping gear because we want to be the kind of people who go camping, and akin to those people who think their Northface Jackets make them explorers, we sought validity in just owning the gear.
On the drive out we laughed as we found that we had both endured the same childhood humiliation of having to use those bulky taffeta/flannel sleeping bags that after years of big families and too many overnights on the trampoline smell just a touch like urine. Our friends showed up at slumber parties with slick mummy bags, tucked conspicuously into stuff bags. We, on the other hand, were poor. And we were from big families. And we had ugly sleeping bags.
We laughed at our memories and thrilled at the prospect of buying whatever bag we wanted. Afterall, this excursion to New Jersey was about quality of life.
But life, predictably, caught up to us. We got there and found ourselves making a series of decisions based on future family. The sleek little tent gave way to a five-man because eventually, we want to fill it with kids. The LED flashlight with balanced optics and anodized surfaces gave way to a two-pack of plastics that won’t last through the night. “The kids,” we reasoned, “will lose them anyway. And they’ll each want to hold one.” After a series of conservative, family-friendly choices, we made our way to the sleeping bag section and at last, void of free-will, we silently reached for the Slumberjack Bonnie and Clyde Double Sleeping Bag. With pillows!
In an effort to make ourselves feel better, we bought a Nalgene bottle too. But not even exuberant talk on the way home about what sticker we would put on it (“Something environmental? Or how about something political? Obama 2008?”) could let us forget what had just happened.
When we got home it was all too much for me. I went into the bedroom and surrendered. I put on a pair of high-waisted khaki capris, ankle socks, purple Crocs, and a size large Old Navy American flag t-shirt. After cutting my hair into a no-nonsense bob, I started to cry.
I wasn’t crying because we didn’t get the sleeping bag I wanted. Or because I felt like my youth was passing away. I wasn’t crying because I was no longer capable of hip, or because motherhood was dowdy.
I cried because for several months now we’ve been talking about getting a car. We’ve been talking about Volvos, and Toyota Highlanders, Honda Pilots and Saturn Outlooks.
But the slightest glance at our pile of gear and it was very, very clear to me.
We’re getting a mini-van.






28 comments
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July 1, 2009 at 6:01 am
Brohammas
the new 4-door Jeep Wrangler can fit two car seats and your gear. It is the vehicle you wish your family had when you are young, and is cheaper than the minivan.
If you have no kids now, buy it as by the time you have outgrown it you will need a new car no matter what you buy.
This will balance out any dowdiness.
For your husbands sake you should not have posted this because in doing so, making your posession of this equipment public, you have doomed him to become the next scoutmaster.
Poor man.
July 1, 2009 at 7:24 am
lisapiorczynski
You need to tell your kids who Bonnie and Clyde are and show them photos of Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway in slick suits and sexy hats.
Also, I remember being 5 and having a friend show up to a party with a double sleeping bag, which we all piled into before the party was over. It was a blast. Don’t kid yourself: the double sleeping bag has its advantages. When your kids are teenagers though, that’s when I’d suggest investing in the singles.
July 1, 2009 at 7:25 am
Emilee
haha. We had the exact same sleeping bags growing up. Oh the joys
July 1, 2009 at 8:20 am
dalene
If it makes you feel any better, I love my mini-van and I would drive it even if I weren’t hauling around a bunch of percussionists or half of the softball team. (And I’m not afraid to write that out loud.)
We bought my little brother’s Toyota Sienna when they decided Honda Pilots had more cool factor and other than the fact that every time I go shopping I come back out to the parking lot and half to remember which of the half dozen other silver Toyota Siennas is mine, I love it. Despite the fact that every time we purchase a new (to us) car, that vehicle has been places SUVs fear to tread and has enough cup holders for every citizen in Rhode Island. I love it!
July 1, 2009 at 8:32 am
kristen
I will be visiting a KOA this weekend…to purchase their ice cream and walk beside the river in Durango, CO. I actually envy the thought of sleeping in a double sleeping bag on the ground. No, we will be on the much less comfortable pull out sofa (c. 1976) at my in-laws’.
Also, I haven’t quite cried about it, but I did shock myself when I truly was jealous of my friend’s new Honda Odyssey.
July 1, 2009 at 9:05 am
sunny
I think we have the same sleeping bags. And they are the best part of camping. And that’s quite an outfit you dreamed up. Are you sure that’s not why you were crying?
July 1, 2009 at 10:40 am
Mehrsa
Some tips for your nalgene: http://www.wikihow.com/Decorate-a-Nalgene
Let me know if you want to borrow some “liberal” stickers.
July 1, 2009 at 10:54 am
Louise Plummer
Camping is from the devil.
July 1, 2009 at 11:23 am
Hillary
I’m with Louise. My family’s idea of camping is the Holiday Inn.
July 1, 2009 at 11:25 am
Leanna
The worst part was that some of the flannel on the inside of the sleeping bag was a little crusty from years of overuse. I still having camping trauma. Whenever people suggest it I feel like I’m back in high school trying to hang out with the cool kids. I got over the sleeping bags, and I got over learning to drive on a Mercury Villager, but I’ve never gotten over the giant foam pads that were so bulky only my dad could roll them up and secure them with the bungee cord. The foam pads had chunks of foam missing and they had turned a kind of mustard color. I always understood the embarrassment of pulling up to a sleepover in high school, or a camping trip in college with one of those.
July 1, 2009 at 11:30 am
Sarie
I thought you were going to say station wagon, but a mini van is even better! Join the club! Cheap and easy to get in and out of… (sniff, sniff).
July 1, 2009 at 11:53 am
samantha
Rebecca I had the same sleeping bag! And yes, it was slightly humiliating sleeping with friends when they had those slick cool mummy bags. I tried to play it off like it was old school cool though, you know, like the sleeping bag was a “cool cousin.” And Rebecca, our mini van rocks our world. Get into it.
July 1, 2009 at 12:24 pm
smylies
Mehrsa, I am beyond delighted to know that WikiHow and I have the same sense of humor. Smash it with rocks? I loved it.
Leanna–goodness yes, the foam pads!
Louise–i didn’t say we were going camping. Just said we had the gear…
July 1, 2009 at 12:32 pm
T. Lewis
Rebecca–you’re set! There’s only one more thing you need (and I think it’s the appropriate time to break out my favorite clip from SNL:)
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/mom-jeans/229048/
July 1, 2009 at 2:12 pm
smylies
Yes T. Lewis, I know all about that clip. When we were dating levi actually told me I had good “mom bum potential.” This commercial is, indeed, SNL at its finest.
July 1, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Autumn
Scary to think I may be personally responsible for some of that urine smell.
We LOVE our minivan (silver Sienna) and I’m not embarassed to say so.
The other day I heard a song at California Adventure that I’d only ever heard live by Fruit of the Loom and the Waste Band at the KOA. I teared just a little. I like that we’re as practical as our parents despite ourselves.
July 1, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Shauna
I really loved this post! It took such a delightful(ly funny) turn at the end. I was not one who cried at the thought of owning a mini van. I grew up as one of six kids, and we never owned a car that would hold our whole family. So a mini van seemed like a blessing. Doubly so after six months of three kids squashed in the back seat of our Corolla — where I felt that they were crying in my ear. In the mini van they were practically a continent away, and I loved it!! Now, three more kids later, we opted for a Suburban. I now drive an ultra cool (IMHO) black Z71. And I always know exactly which one is mine in a parking lot . . . . it’s always the dirtiest by a landslide.
July 1, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Katie
Oh I loved this post. “A touch like urine.” So classic, so true.
Did you guys happen to go to Campmor in Jersey? Best camping store ever. Cam and I make monthly trips.
July 1, 2009 at 9:22 pm
No ONe You Know
Don’t cry.
Mini vans are great. Really.
I had one once.
Then traded it in for a suburban which my husband looked so manly in that I quickly got pregnant just watching him behind the wheel.
Then, when he was layed off, with baby #4 on the way and a huge car payment, I longing thought back to my mini van. It had a spoiler. Did I mention it had a spoiler?
And who cares about a cool car. Poor is the new cool. Money conscience people now seem smarter and more ahead of the game. SUV drivers look greedy and wasteful.
Trust me. I get dirty looks all the time.
And your sleeping bag is rad. My husband walked by and saw the picture.
“Oh, we got to get that.” He said with a suggestive slant.
But I’ll have to tell him we can’t afford it.
Suburban sized car payment, you know.
July 1, 2009 at 11:27 pm
missy
Guess the grass is always greener. I was the one with the mummy bag at sleepovers. My best friend was the 5th of 8 kids and had the flannel sleeping bag. I always sort of wished I had that one too.
July 2, 2009 at 12:31 am
simplysarah
I like this post, a lot.
Also, on a tangent – my family is not a camping family.
But, I myself own two sleeping bags…because I also want to be the kind of person who goes camping. I’m not quite there yet….but someday! Right.
July 2, 2009 at 9:01 am
smylies
Katie, Yes! Campmor! The second line of this post should have read: “Because where, other than CAMPMOR in New Jersery, does one go…”
July 2, 2009 at 1:31 pm
margy
As long as you have tin foil dinners and s’mores with bananas, you’ll have the best campsite. Who needs cool gear when you have delicious food and purple crocs?
July 2, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Todd
I love mini-vans. Head-over-heels. No, seriously. I am a 30-year-old, somewhat-hip, single man with no immediate marriage prospects, and I want nothing more than for a mini-van to be my next car. And it has nothing to do with some latent (or not so latent) desire for kids.
The mini-van is much maligned as the sad chariot of soccer moms. But that’s just bad branding. It is, in fact, the greatest vehicle Detroit ever invented for adults. Think about it. FOUR captain’s seats. Find me any other vehicle that seats four adults so comfortably. And you can throw a few more in the backseat, no problem. Add room for a cooler or two or three or four and an overhead entertainment system and you’ve got a bar on wheels.
I fantasize about the day when I finally get my dream vehicle. I will pull up to our gathering point where a bunch of my friends are piling gear for some long roadtrip. I will push a button, watch my doors slide open, flip the backseat into the floor, and watch as everyone argues about who gets to ride with me. In the van.
July 6, 2009 at 2:50 pm
America for Me « S as in Smylie.
[...] “camping”–so we didn’t make plans in advance and couldn’t actually get to a campsite. We drove an hour north of the city where Mehrsa’s backyard was good enough for us. We were actually quite glad to have a house within twenty feet for Adelaide’s first ever “camping” trip. [...]
July 6, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Zina
When my husband and I were dating–not even engaged–we were going to go camping (with some other friends, and we’d be sleeping in separate tents) and we went shopping for new sleeping bags. I was completeley mortified when he asked the sales guy help us find sleeping bags that had right and left-hand zippers so that they could zip together.
Later he decided to take his sleeping bag back to exchange it for another model, and he totally forgot to get a left-zippered one. So he embarrassed me for nothing. We’re not big campers (frankly, camping lost most of its charm for me once I had a home and kitchen kids and all that stuff to care for,) but we’ve camped a few times in our thirteen years of marriage, always with kids/wards/extended family, and we’ve never even tried to zip our bags together.
I remember those exact childhood sleeping bags you described, but in our case all our friends had the same, so we weren’t self-conscious. The ones my husband and I picked out, though, were sleek mummy bags–actually we got two sets, winter ones and summer ones that fit into a bread loaf-sized stuff sack–and now that my kids are old enough to borrow them, I find myself reluctant to share.
July 6, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Zina
That should say kitchen and kids.
July 6, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Zina
P.S. When we got our first minvan I thought I’d hate it, but I’ve never looked back, and now I’d rather drive it than my husband’s commuter Honda. But I’ve never been a very car-conscious person, and it’s comfortable to ride in.